Sunday, March 2, 2008

Fix me

The other day at arobics Brodee had a little melt down. I have found recently that the best way to get through to him is to sit down and reason with him. I sat down with him and dtarted to talk to him. I then said "what am I going to do with you" (which I should have never said) and he said to me "just throw me in the trash can" I felt horrible. I told him I didn't want to throw him in the trash can I just didn't like his actions sometimes. I talked to him a little longer when he took my hand and put it on his back and said to me "fix me" As I tried to hold back the tears I realized he didn't like to get into trouble just as much as I liked him to make bad choices. How do you help your kids have self control and with stand the temptations to make bad choices at this age? When I tell him not to get in the mud to be able to control himself no matter how fun it would be to squish his finger through that mud. Right now it is mud but in a few years it will be much scarier things I am trying to keep him away from. As I have thought about this the last few days and as I have listened to parenting talks and talked to friends I came to the realization that I need to build him up more. I need to focus on the posative instead of the negative all the time. All he hears from me is don't do that don't get into that, why did you do that. I need to praise him and tell him all the good things that he does and help him have the confidence to know that he can make better choices. Not only with him but all my kids. I focus way too much on the negative instead of the posative. So my new goal is to uplift my kids, praise them for all the good things that they do instead of nit picking all the bad or not so good things they do. I just pray that it will help me be a better parent. It is so scary to be a mom. Maybe this will help "FIX ME".

4 comments:

juliette said...

Why can't I be your neighbor this minute? Hug that boy for me right now I can't even stand it! You are such a cute mom, and I love that you are going to be positve- Brodee really is such a special boy. He treated Malloy so kindly, and was so patient with Malloy's spazy personality, I just appreciate Brodee so much! He has such a sweet personality and the cutest things he would say and I quote,"How does Heavenly Father make the wind blow?" I really love that boy of yours and I swear one day you will read a children's book about a boy who wears a cape and rides his scooter around the whole neighborhood only to find out I'm the author and the story is about free spirited Brodee! This is the longest post of your life, but I could go on and on. Give him a big hug from Malloy and me and don't worry about him, just keep being the cutest mom.

Kasey said...

Sorry I didn't make it on Friday. I showered and was ready to go and was hit with the higest headache of my life! So I took a nap. I'll come by sometime and get my pan.
I want you to know that you are a grat mom! Kids just go through stuff and it's hard to decide what to do and how to treet it. Read my blog lately? Todd is 5 and has been biting his sister. And lying to me. Fun times for us moms huh? My aunt once told me that we have to stroke then strike. That sounds a little weird, but sometimes we have to give them negative feedback when they are naughty. Sometimes as moms we want to focus just on the bad and we do forget to praise them when they are good. We should not expect them to be good always because they are little and learning as we are still learning everyday how to be a mom. My aunt said in any situation to start with 3 things you love and enjoy about them and what they have done great for you, and then discuss the naughty situation. It helps them to see that they are good, do good things and you love them, but that they can't do bad things or not listen to you. Good luck! I know we all need some sometimes!
(Sorry this was so long)=)

Lana and Terry said...

Jen: I loved reading your blog, first about our wonderful Porter who is now a big 9. Then I read about the famous Brodee and how sensitive he is. Like your friends have said, You and Ryan are great parents and your kids are so-o-o-o cute. Of course I could be prejudice since I am Grandma. JUst keep on being positive to the kids but also letting them know they have to make right choices. It really is hard being a Mom, but oh so rewarding when you have great kids and grand kids like we do. Thanks Jen for being such a great Mom!

The Flakes said...

Gosh Jen, make me cry way out here in Nauvoo!!!! Give Brodee Glen a big hug and kiss for me and give his sweet mother one also!!!!!